i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
