There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
