whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
