I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
