I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
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