Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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