come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Randomize
