end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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