The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
