I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize