i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
