i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
