drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
