So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize
