i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
