I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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