and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
