I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
This house was built for laser tag.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize