You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
