How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
