i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
