I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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