He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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