I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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