Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize