What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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