Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
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