Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
