That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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