guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I just want to make out with him forever
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Randomize