Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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