Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
