is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
