just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
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