ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
