i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
