He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
