My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
