i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize