I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
