Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
