Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
