You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
