K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Randomize
