Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Randomize
