Operation Purity has been aborted
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
