I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
