You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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