what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
