i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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