Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
it was like eating out sand paper
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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