Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
