I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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