you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
