chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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