I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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