How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
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