apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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