I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
i've created a new STD.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Randomize
