you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Panties = found
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize