Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
