For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
