I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Pants are for mortals
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
