i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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