he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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