we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
