I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Randomize