Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
