Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
